R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means

”Respect is an appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.”

—Annie Gottlieb

 

Respect. A value forever immortalized in the song lyrics written by Otis Redding but made popular in the recording by the late great Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. To paraphrase, Aretha said, Baby what do you want, what do you need? Listen, I got it. All I’m askin’ for is a little respect. “Find out what it means to me.”

Respect, what does it really mean? We know it is as necessary for intimate and family relationships as it is for relationships among friends, classmates and colleagues. But how does it actually show up in our relationships?

In an August 22, 2026 press conference after a preseason game, Shedeur Sanders—a fan favorite who is competing with Deshaun Watson for the Cleveland Browns’ starting quarterback position—was asked by a reporter how he felt about the Browns fans booing Watson. Without hesitation, Sanders responded that he did not appreciate their behavior. For him, it was about understanding the larger purpose. He put it this way:

"We are all humans. I don't really do things to humans that I
wouldn't really want done to me. …because we’re all out there
trying to do our best and trying to serve the franchise the best
way possible. We’re going out there to win games. We’re doing 
everything we can do.”

In that moment, Sanders could have deflected and shrugged off the fans’ behavior that could have possibly made himself even more popular. But instead of doing that, his statement let everybody know that Watson was his teammate and he deserved respect. He did not try to make Watson look smaller in order to make himself look better. It was clear that Shedeur was focused and working on his own performance. He demonstrated what it means to lead even when you are not the designated leader.

The quote by Annie Gottlieb at the beginning of this blog provides us with a very useful definition of respect. Respect is an appreciation of the separateness and uniqueness of the other person. In essence, it means even though you are different from me in your appearance, clothes, and beliefs, you still deserve basic respect and human dignity. As Sanders intimated, you deserve respect because you are human. Period.

You see, it’s easy to like and respect someone who always agrees with you. But how do you handle a situation where a friend or coworker expresses an opinion or makes a choice that you or “your group” disagree with? How do you discuss issues with people whose opinions or beliefs differ from yours? And maybe right here is where the invisible giant of insecurity hems us up in the corner: If I am uncomfortable valuing my own uniqueness or opinions that are different from others in my social or work group, how can I appreciate your unique and absolute value if it doesn’t mirror what the group likes or values? When we are not fully comfortable with our own differences, we may struggle to be comfortable with those who are different, especially when we measure our worth based on being accepted.

And by the way, I can respectfully disagree with you without diminishing your humanity. Sadly, we too often justify treating someone disrespectfully, calling people names, and excluding them instead of strongly condemning that type of behavior.

Sometimes, we can feel that we have to maintain our allegiance to and similarity to the pack in order to deserve the respect of “the group” and maintain our social standing. It then becomes easier to treat people who are different or disagree with us badly. Even worse, we may feel they deserve to be treated in a condescending manner. Is this what we really should be doing? Isn’t this how we got to a place where being openly disrespectful is considered okay?

Shedeur provided us with a great example that can be applied in friend groups, classrooms, school hallways, office meetings and social organizations. We set the standard for what is acceptable behavior in our sphere of influence. We are change agents and do not become complicit in encouraging negative behaviors. As leadership expert John Maxwell points out, leadership is really about using our influence.

Leaders must demonstrate respect for everyone in the organization. There is never a good reason to disrespect someone no matter what they may have done or not done. Their behavior may require correction and possibly even distance. It is important to set boundaries—we can't allow ourselves to be in close proximity to someone if their behavior is disruptive and disrespectful—but we don’t disrespect people just because they disagree with us.

Lastly, our respect for someone cannot be based on how much we like them or how much they agree with us. It must be based on how we respond when we disagree or how we navigate our differences.

Respect. Find out what it means to you first and then find out what it means to me.

On Tuesdays, @womenatliberty presents #LeadershipTuesdays, a platform for a variety of voices and resources to develop, encourage, and strengthen leaders. For more information, click the links for #LeadershipTuesdays, @womenatliberty or Women Making History.