“We will all encounter tough times and be shaped by them. What I didn’t know for a long time, but I know now, is that facing these moments head-on and overcoming them makes you stronger, wiser, a little less afraid, and more comfortable and connected to the best parts of yourself. Because there’s a price to pay when you lose that connection.
I didn’t know any of that when I encountered my first mountain…
In my earliest years, I felt nothing but proud and lucky, and that enabled me to move through the world with confidence and ease. That is what everyone saw in my adulthood, as I came to lead one of the biggest cities in this nation during an unprecedented time in our history. The rough side of the mountain had prepared me, in a million ways, for that climb, and for the next climb, and the next.”
— Keisha Lance Bottoms, Governor-Elect, Georgia First Woman Governor of Georgia and First Black Woman Governor in the United States
Former Mayor of Atlanta, GA; City Council Member; and Judge.
*Excerpt from “The Rough Side of the Mountain”, A Memoir by Keisha Lance Bottoms
"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."
—Edward Everett Hale, a 19th century social reformer & minister.
”Respect
is an appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in
which he or she is unique.”
—Annie
Gottlieb
Respect.
A value forever immortalized in the song lyrics written by Otis Redding but
made popular in the recording by the late great Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin.
To paraphrase, Aretha said, Baby what do you want, what do you need? Listen, I
got it. All I’m askin’ for is a little respect. “Find out what it means to me.”
Respect,
what does it really mean? We know it is as necessary for intimate and family
relationships as it is for relationships among friends, classmates and
colleagues. But how does it actually show up in our relationships?
In
an August 22, 2026 press conference after a preseason game, Shedeur Sanders—a fan
favorite who is competing with Deshaun Watson for the Cleveland Browns’ starting
quarterback position—was asked by a reporter how he felt about the Browns fans
booing Watson. Without hesitation, Sanders responded that he did not appreciate
their behavior. For him, it was about understanding the larger purpose. He put
it this way:
"We are all
humans. I don't really do things to humans that I
wouldn't really want done to me. …because we’re all out there
trying to do our best and trying to serve the franchise the best
way possible. We’re going out there to win games. We’re doing everything we can
do.”
In
that moment, Sanders could have deflected and shrugged off the fans’ behavior that
could have possibly made himself even more popular. But instead of doing that,
his statement let everybody know that Watson was his teammate and he deserved
respect. He did not try to make Watson look smaller in order to make himself
look better. It was clear that Shedeur was focused and working on his own
performance. He demonstrated what it means to lead even when you are not the
designated leader.
The
quote by Annie Gottlieb at the beginning of this blog provides us with a very useful
definition of respect. Respect is an appreciation
of the separateness and uniqueness of the other person. In essence, it means even though you are different from me
in your appearance, clothes, and beliefs, you still deserve basic respect and
human dignity. As Sanders intimated, you deserve respect because you are human.
Period.
You
see, it’s easy to like and respect someone who always agrees with you. But how
do you handle a situation where a friend or coworker expresses an opinion or
makes a choice that you or “your group” disagree with? How do you discuss
issues with people whose opinions or beliefs differ from yours? And maybe right
here is where the invisible giant of insecurity hems us up in the corner: If I am
uncomfortable valuing my own uniqueness or opinions that are different from others
in my social or work group, how can I appreciate your unique and absolute value
if it doesn’t mirror what the group likes or values? When we are not fully
comfortable with our own differences, we may struggle to be comfortable with
those who are different, especially when we measure our worth based on being
accepted.
And
by the way, I can respectfully disagree with you without diminishing your
humanity. Sadly, we too often justify treating someone disrespectfully, calling
people names, and excluding them instead of strongly condemning that type of
behavior.
Sometimes,
we can feel that we have to maintain our allegiance to and similarity to the
pack in order to deserve the respect of “the group” and maintain our social
standing. It then becomes easier to treat people who are different or disagree
with us badly. Even worse, we may feel they deserve to be treated in a
condescending manner. Is this what we really should be doing? Isn’t this how we
got to a place where being openly disrespectful is considered okay?
Shedeur provided us with a great example that can be applied in friend groups, classrooms,
school hallways, office meetings and social organizations. We set the standard
for what is acceptable behavior in our sphere of influence. We are change
agents and do not become complicit in encouraging negative behaviors. As leadership
expert John Maxwell points out, leadership is really about using our influence.
Leaders
must demonstrate respect for everyone in the organization. There is never a
good reason to disrespect someone no matter what they may have done or not
done. Their behavior may require correction and possibly even distance. It is
important to set boundaries—we can't allow ourselves to be in close proximity
to someone if their behavior is disruptive and disrespectful—but we don’t
disrespect people just because they disagree with us.
Lastly,
our respect for someone cannot be based on how much we like them or how much
they agree with us. It must be based on how we respond when we disagree or how
we navigate our differences.
Respect. Find out
what it means to you first and then find out what it means to me.
