”Respect is an appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.”
—Annie Gottlieb
Respect. A value forever immortalized in the song lyrics written by Otis Redding but made popular in the recording by the late great Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. To paraphrase, Aretha said Baby what do you want, what do you need? Listen, I got it. All I’m askin’ for is a little respect. “Find out what it means to me.”
Respect, what does it really mean? We know it is as necessary for intimate and family relationships as it is for friendships and professional relationships. But how does it show up in our relationships?
In a press conference August 22, 2026 after a preseason game, Shedeur Sanders, a fan favorite who is competing with Deshaun Watson for the Cleveland Browns’ quarterback starting position, was asked by a reporter how he felt about the Browns fans booing Watson. Without hesitation, Sanders responded that he did not appreciate their behavior. For him, it was about understanding the bigger purpose. He put it this way: "we are all humans. I don't really do things to humans that I wouldn't really want done to me. …because we’re all out there trying to do our best and trying to serve the franchise the best way possible. We’re going out there to win games. We’re doing everything we can do.” In that moment, Sanders could have deflected and shrugged off the fans’ behavior. But instead of doing that, his statement let everybody know that Watson was his teammate and he deserved respect. He did not try to make Watson look smaller in order to make himself look better. It was clear that he was focused and working on his own performance. He demonstrated what it means to lead even when you are not the designated leader.
The quote above by Annie Gottlieb provides us with a useful definition of respect. Respect is an appreciation of the separateness and uniqueness of the other person. In essence, it means that even though you are different from me, your appearance is different, your clothes are different, and your beliefs are different, you still deserve respect. As Sanders intimated, you deserve respect because you are human. Everybody deserves to be treated with respect. Everybody.
You see, you do not have to be like me for me to treat you with respect. And maybe here is where the invisible giant of insecurity hems us up in the corner: If I don’t really like or accept my own uniqueness or value apart from the group, how can I appreciate your unique and absolute value if it doesn’t mirror what the group likes or values? When we are not fully comfortable with our own differences, we may struggle to be comfortable with those who are different, especially when we measure our own worth based on being accepted by the group.
And by the way, I can respectfully disagree with you without diminishing your humanity. Sadly, we too often justify treating someone disrespectfully, calling people names, and excluding those who are different instead of strongly condemning that type of behavior.
Too often, we
can feel that we have to maintain our allegiance to and similarity to the pack
in order to deserve the respect of “the group”. People who are different or
disagree with us don’t deserve our respect. Worse, we may feel they deserve to
be treated in a condescending manner. Is this what we really should be doing? Isn’t
this how we got to a place where being openly disrespectful is considered okay?
Shedeur provided us with a great example of what a leader does. We set the
standard for what is acceptable behavior in the organization or our sphere of
influence. We are change agents and do not become complicit in encouraging negative
behaviors. As the leadership expert John Maxwell has said, “Leadership is
influence.” Leaders must demonstrate respect for everyone in the organization.
There is never a good reason to disrespect someone no matter what they may have
done or not done. Their behavior may require correction and possibly even distance.
We can't allow ourselves to be in close proximity to someone if their behavior
is disruptive and disrespectful to us. We must set a boundary. But we don’t disrespect
people just because they disagree with us.
Lastly, our respect for someone cannot be based on how much we are alike or whether we agree with them. It must be based on how we respond when we disagree or how we navigate our differences.
Respect. Find out what it means to you first and then find out what it means to me.
On Tuesdays, @womenatliberty presents #LeadershipTuesdays, a platform for a variety of voices and resources to develop, encourage, and strengthen leaders. For more information, click the links for #LeadershipTuesdays, @womenatliberty or Women Making History.
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